An Open Letter to White People in the Sexuality/Sexology Field this is along the lines of my criticism of sex-positive movements but regarding racial and age diversity rather then sex workers

Have you noted the lack of people of Color in the field? When I’ve brought this to the attention of some of you, your responses have mostly fallen into the category of: “the field is what it is.” This response is problematic on numerous levels. It ignores and erases the people of Color who were a part of the field, helped create it in the US, those of us here today, and those of us to come. This response does not question the colonial legacies and white supremacy of which the US field was created and remains.

Porn Addiction: The Sky Is Not Falling

People do have a strong response to video pornography. But women actually have a stronger physiological response than men; this actually raises a problem for the porn addict evangelists—based upon this research, women should be more addicted to pornography than men. But the overwhelming majority of the stories we hear about are men. Why is this? Because one part of this issue is an attack on aspects of male sexuality, including masturbation and use of pornography, that society fears.

CyDy friend Kitty Stryker- Working URLs: Sex Workers And The Wild Wild Web

Perhaps, then, the Wild West of the internet is a better thing for sex workers than a “civilized” one, which will seek to reduce the agency of a population otherwise ostracized from society. I would rather have lawlessness and independence than be corralled into this century’s idea of what a woman should behave like. I love being a sex worker, and I love how the internet has given me the freedom to set my own rules and my own standards. I couldn’t agree more with the crossdressing, gun slinging Calamity Jane, who supposedly said, “”Leave me alone and let me go to hell by my own route.”

I really like this blog on the topic. Please read the whole thing at Beyond Xs and Ys

Except in so many instances I dislike the word queer. It’s incredibly frustrating that those not familiar with queer communities don’t ask. It’s unfamiliar, confusing, and not helpful in connecting with different groups of people. More than that, I have huge issues with many parts of various queer communities. They can be self-isolating, unrealistic, judgemental, and occasionally vicious. That is true of most communities at one point or another. But as I’ve heard from strangers and friends recently, so often it is those in the queer (or kink, or other such) community that judges and turn in on each other. No one has come up with a way to keep out the assholes and douchebag.

Sex-positive feminist talks about defending herself from non sex-positive feminists I might have issues with the sex-positive and feminist communities, but this is a really great article.

Theatre Performance of  Allah Makes Muslims Allah Makes Queers I think we’ve totally missed all the shows, but it’s good to hear about queer Muslims speaking up.

Looking at People You Find Attractive- Street Harassment I know I’m probably preaching to the choir with this link, but it’s nice to see it articulated so well.

Vintage Prostitutes!

I know that not everyone is personally interested in participation in sex work or consuming adult entertainment, but to go so far as to say that it is not a valid form of sexual expression is absurd. I just don’t understand. It crosses gender boundaries too. I’ve seen both men and woman say and do things that are very sex work negative. The latest thing that pissed me off was a posting in a sex-positive blog where a woman is writing about pornography and then goes on to write about how she doesn’t pay for porn and doesn’t need or want to pay for it. Thanks a lot for not supporting sex workers’ businesses. I’ll just pay my rent with all this sex-positive love I’m receiving from you.

If you’re not involved with porn production you might not realize how statements about not wanting/needing to pay for porn but expect to consume it anyway feel like you’re stealing a piece of my creative spirit. I take great pride in the work I create. It is a tremendous creative outlet for me, and when I was a stripper that was also a tremendous creative energy outlet. Hearing that you expect to be able to consume my creative energy without any exchange makes me ill. Literally. I feel my stomach knotting up as I write this.

If you are kink-positive then there is no reason to deny the validity of a fetish for consenting adults exchanging money in private for any variety of sexual entertainment services. For some reason the kink end of the sex-positive community is the worst, especially in targeting pro-dommes. It’s always baffled me how being an amateur and doing kinky things for fun is ok but if you’re a professional and want payment then you’ve just ruined “it” for everyone. In fact, the people that I meet in my private pro-domme practice are infinitely more interesting than the people I used to meet when I was in the BDSM scene. There are a few notable exceptions, including my roommate and current friends, but for the most part I prefer spending time with the guys that seek out a pro-domme. There are many people that don’t play in public for any number of reasons and I am so happy to meet these people through my pro-domme business.
What really strikes me as odd is the number of women that have entitled attitudes when it comes to sex work. The people that contact me for refunds or complaints about cyber-dyke.net membership identify themselves as female far more often than they identify themselves to me as male. I do get the occasional message from a guy that “doesn’t need to pay” for whatever sexual entertainment, thank you patriarchy. I’m not sure why women think that they are entitled to refunds or entitled to not pay for sexual entertainment. Another symptom of the patriarchy? Maybe women just aren’t as familiar with sex work business and don’t realize some dude already took advantage of some scam to get free adult entertainment years ago. I don’t know, but I would love to hear what other folks think and read other material on this topic. Doesn’t the sex-positive community realize how many current or former sex-workers are in their midst?

Kamala Devi’s videos and resources to save the temple
Tracy Elise’s info and updates (auto play video on home page)
The Temple was a member church of Oklevueha Native American Church and they posted bail, please support them
Devi Ma’s fundraising for legal defense

One woman’s definition of feminist porn I have to disagree about his production quality being an indicator of feminist pornographic content. It costs money to have high production quality, and there’s no reason why an amateur with a consumer grade camcorder can’t make feminist porn. That’s what I do. I don’t think it’s very feminist to say that folks with a smaller budget can’t make feminist porn. It’s really kind of classist, but classism seems to be a common theme in the feminist movement.

A nice academic essay about the importance of pornography from a feminist perspective I suggest skipping the comments because too many of them are not at the same level of discourse as the original article.

Zanele Muholi: Mapping and Archiving A Visual History of Black Lesbians in post-Apartheid South Africa Gorgeous photography and art about black lesbian’s lives in South Africa.

I think it’s a little hasty to say that this ancient person was gay, but a male skeleton was found buried as a female in a 5,000 year old grave.

In part 1 she writes about whether or not women are objectified by porn. (generally not) I don’t know if folks realize how many women work in management and production of mainstream porn, and how women really have the power to call the shots behind the scenes. Even porn magazines like Playboy portray women in a much more positive light than women’s magazines such as Cosmo.

Porn by the Numbers 2: Is pornography violent? and I agree with her again that the actors are acting, and getting paid to play a role. There are also a number of women who enjoy rough sex or BDSM. It seems to me that folks like to project their own experiences and feelings on pornography. I understand that rape, sexual assault and violence are major issues but that’s not what the vast majority of pornography is portraying. The numbers just don’t add up.

Myth #3: Viewing pornography changes the way men view women. Very common, totally untrue, and the studies being quoted are weak. Unrealistic portrayals of women., men and relationships happen all over the media. I grew up with a whole load of bad relationship and body image information thanks to TV and movies. Pornography and sex work has been a very positive influence on my life in many ways, including relationships and body image.

Myth #4: Porn is a huge business [that is taking over the Internet] I wish!!! You realize that I’ve been working in adult entertainment since 2001 and I finally quit my day job in June. I constantly have to remind new adult entrepreneurs that they are not going to be millionaires any time soon, and certainly not without a lot of hard work and business management skills.

Porn by the Numbers 5: On feminist porn Duh! Are people not aware of marketing porn by specifically calling it feminist and the growing market of porn for women? Because that’s all I do these days.

Pakistan’s Lesbians Live In Silence, Love In Secret by Habiba Nosheen One of the Cyber-Dykes is Pakistani and she was very happy to be living in the US. I don’t know if she’s still in the US but my heart goes out to her if she had to go back to Pakistan.

Late-Life Lesbians’ Reveal Fluidity Of Sexuality It’s really fascinating to see this report on women that fall in love with women later in life after being married and having children. It’s really fantastic to see some recognition that women’s sexuality is very complex.