Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

How to Date a Porn Star

March 15, 2008 | Uncategorized

Dating while working in the adult industry is weird. I’ve sworn off dating for the time being because I’m just so clueless. All the dates I’ve had in the past two years failed miserably because I just totally missed the cues to move the relationship forward. I failed so consistently I even questioned my queerness. I decided to write a personals ad, in my mind, in order to examine what was really going on for me. I don’t intend to post this ad on any personals site, but I’d like to hear any feedback.

Dating hater looking for someone who feels the same! W4W

I just plain hate dating. I work in the adult industry, so I seem to have very different ideas about personal interactions and relationships. I seem to be totally clueless about noticing cues to move the relationship past chatting and dinner. Porn, sex and things that are normally taboo and intimate is normal conversation for me. Bringing up the topic of sex toys or safe sex practices do not immediately strike me as, “want to have sex” talk.

I don’t want to talk about my job because it’s mostly pretty boring. It isn’t very glamorous either and I don’t make a ton of money. Just don’t be shocked when I have no qualms about talking about sex and kink and porn in a public space openly and freely. Also you can’t be shocked or upset that I’m intimately involved with other people and I take their money. I watch a ton of porn. If you’re curious or regularly pursue sex workers without being familiar with the sex worker community this probably won’t work. I’m not going to teach you how to be a sex worker or about the adult industry. Hipsters need not apply.

I need a woman that can communicate openly and clearly. She must be able to act assertive when I don’t pick up on the normal cues, and clearly state what she wants or does not want. I really just don’t pick up on normal cues, so don’t mistake my cluelessness for disinterest. Interest in sex-positive events, like erotic open mic nights or erotic film festivals is necessary. Being kinky is a bonus.

I’m tend towards soft-butch, but I also love to play with vintage and retro glamour styles. I have an extensive collection of stockings, girdles and vintage clothes. My makeup collection rivals any drag queen’s. I ride a motorcycle. I enjoy nightclubs, dancing, film, classic sci-fi, art, crafting, all types of music and cooking.

I’m really looking for someone with counterculture ideas who has been in very different non-traditional relationships. I’m not a normal person and I hope you’re not either.

A woman’s first vibrator

February 23, 2008 | Uncategorized

I’m editing a video of a lovely young woman, and I think this might have been her first time using a vibrator. The first toy I filmed her using was a just plain dildo, and she totally faked it. That’s ok. I would really prefer that women not fake it, but if you’re not going to get off I guess you have to figure out something. Then I handed her a vibrator, and she really did get off. I can’t tell if she was surprised or had never experienced an orgasm like that or just never had an orgasm with a vibrator.

Honestly I don’t think I used a vibrator until I started doing porn. I was a frequent masturbator and had worked as a stripper when I was this model’s age. I was poor and just masturbated by hand. I was curious about vibrators, but I thought they were too expensive. I wish someone had handed me a vibrator when I was this woman’s age rather than having to wait a few years for a lover to introduce me to sex toys. It was a bullet vibe. It makes me feel good to know that I am empowering women and giving them the opportunity to explore their sexual pleasure through pornography. Sex toys and vibrators may seem strange or extravagant if you’re young and poor, but they really make a difference.

The Cyber-Dyke staff has been reviewing sex toys over at the GirlTools.net blog.

Babeland also has an excellent blog and plenty of toys to tickle your fancy. It may seem like an investment right now, but your sexual pleasure is priceless!

Merry Kriss Moose

December 24, 2007 | Uncategorized

This lovely lady is welcoming you to a series of free holiday sets that you will undoubtedly enjoy! You can see the rest of her at Gothic Sluts, or go straight to the April Flores Xmas gallery. Over at Barely Evil you will find a free gallery featuring an adorable reindeer who is very simple and natural…just a pretty girl to capture your attention! There’s a holiday offering at Scar13 too, including a candy cane that goes…you know where! Michelle Aston brings us a very elfin Xmas (that’s alliterative, see) and rounding out this group is a holiday set from EroticBPM!

Welcoming Chrissy Daniels

June 3, 2007 | CyDy Network, Uncategorized

Here’s an official CyDyBlog welcome to Chrissy Daniels, the newest member of the Cyber Dyke Network! Her site is awesome. As I was browsing around I was really impressed. Inside the members area you will find a discussion forum (frequented by Chrissy herself), a personal diary, fan works, wallpaper, a webcam and chat room, and photos and videos galore. If you have ever wanted to not just look at a beautiful woman but actually get to know her, Chrissy Daniels is the one you should be looking up. And I can’t let you leave without a free picture, right? Here she is!

Mr. Pierce

June 1, 2007 | Pop Culture, Uncategorized

I know I never write about anything of substance…but David Hyde Pierce really is gay! I know he always seemed gay, but I always assumed that was just his style as an actor. I felt the same way when I heard about John Inman, too…

Pakistan Rules on Transgender Couple

May 31, 2007 | Around the World, Uncategorized

This truly amazes me. A court in Pakistan has decided that if a transman has not had bottom surgery, he is still a woman. This is surprising to me mostly because the decision meant that a lesbian couple ended up in jail - whereas if he HAD had the bottom surgery, he would be a man, and their relationship would be legitimate (or so I gather). Good grief.

South African Culture vs. Policy

May 30, 2007 | Around the World, Uncategorized

Last November, South Africa became the first country in Africa - and the fifth in the world - to legalize gay marriage. The measure received an overwhelming vote in Congress, with 230 ayes to 41 nays. But even though same sex couples can legally get married in South Africa, culture still dictates otherwise. South Africa is not immune to the anti-gay sentiments permeating Africa as a whole. In most countries on the continent, gay activity is not only illegal, but is the cause of widespread abuse and mistreatment of those who are even suspected to be homosexual. I wonder if this is perhaps based in part on the stigma of HIV/AIDS in Africa, whether some people believe that if it weren’t for gay people, the disease wouldn’t be devastating all of Africa.

Contribute Your Stories

May 29, 2007 | Literature, News Reports, Pop Culture, Uncategorized

Whew, okay, now I’m back and posting. According to the Cleveland Plain-Dealer, the LGBT Archives at Western Reserve Historical Society have stepped up their efforts to improve their collections. The LGBT Archives, which were established in 1991, are looking for personal stories, oral histories, documents, photographs, and publications. If you have anything to contribute I hope you will consider doing so! Just a note, if you have anything of interest to the leather community, please contribute that to the Leather Archives & Museum. The LGBT Archives are in Ohio, and LA&M is in Chicago.

Back from Vacation

May 24, 2007 | Uncategorized

Just wanted to let everybody know that I am back from vacation! I am slowly posting my pictures and I’ve got a few cool items to share. Fortunately I have the whole weekend to put them up…see you soon!

More On Gay for Women

November 8, 2005 | Uncategorized

If you’re a linguistic nut like I am, there’s another article in response to Safire’s piece (about the term “gay” no longer applying to women) that you might find interesting.