CyDy Blog: the sexy brains of Cyber Dyke » Health

Image and Representation in Porn

roxxie — Sat, 09 Jul 2011 16:21:45 +0000

A while back I read two excellent blog posts on representation and image in the adult industry. The first blog post is by a well known vocal and active sex worker Amanda Brooks and the other is by a good friend of Cyber-dyke.net and fellow pornographer, Furry Girl, quoting and commenting on Amanda Brooks’ blog. The posts talk about how the majority of sex workers are “girl next door” classically beautiful or look more stereotypical porn star and are often not well represented in sex work activism, to put it briefly. This is an issue that has been on my mind a lot, as a San Francisco vegan lesbian seldom shaved tattooed unnatural hair colored sex worker, who produces a dyke porn site that was once considered alt. Once upon a time representations of women as they exist in the wild was considered “alt porn” but now it seems that even alt porn has a codified look and specific beauty standards. Cyber-dyke.net is still alternative in many ways and is indie and feminist and ethical and various other buzz words, but we don’t necessarily have a lot models with that “look” anymore.

Getting back to the point of representation and appearance, I am well aware of the fact that I’m a weirdo and I have specifically altered my appearance so that I am not classically beautiful. I remember coming out of the piercing shop after getting my first body piercing, my lip ring, and walking past a guy staring at me lustfully. He seemed very interested in my until he got a good look at my face and saw the piercing. He turned away immediately and I laughed! Finally I was ugly and not getting excessive attention from men. How I ended up working in a strip club and going into porn from there is a long story, but I fully accept that I don’t fit conventional beauty standards and won’t make a ton of money or become a rock star. I also fully understand that I am not visually representative of the vast majority of sex workers, or lesbians or feminists or women for that matter. Back in my anti-racist activism days I learned that sometimes my voice is not the most important and it is better for me to step back, shut my mouth, and let someone else speak. I feel the same way when it comes to representation of sex workers, lesbians and pornography.

Even though I personally do not represent the typical dyke, lesbian, porn star, sex worker, etc. I strive to produce porn that is somewhat more representative. Being in San Francisco, I am very aware of other porn with queer models and models that are pierced, tattooed and freaky looking like myself. That’s great, but it doesn’t mean that women who aren’t freaky looking or who look like mainstream porn stars aren’t authentically queer, dyke, feminists. A woman who alters her appearance by dying her hair traffic cone orange, inserting metal pieces and adding colored ink to her skin is no different than a woman who dyes her hair blonde with highlights, inserts silicone and adds tan color to her skin. And women who alter their appearance are no different than women who don’t. All of them can be just as queer, dykey and feminist as any other queer dyke feminist. As a feminist I believe that it is every woman’s right to do whatever the hell she wants with her body, and subvert the dominant beauty standards or exploit the dominant beauty standards in any way that she finds effective and enjoyable.

Lesbian Kama Sutra

Robin — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 17:25:05 +0000

Frequent visitors to CyberDyke will have noticed that for quite a while now we have been featuring a link to Lesbian Kama Sutra, a site run by a team of four delightful women in Europe.

LKS, as it is affectionately known, has been around for years doing its level best to promote a healthy and positive image of lesbian sexuality. There is great information on our sex practices and you have a lot of fun along the way! The owners graciously let us have a peek inside their site and we can assure you that this is fun and informative resource not to be missed.

What LKS does is provide us with straight-forward writing and depictions, in photos, fine art illustrations and videos, of our sex as it should be experienced. It does so in a way that is elegant without being stuffy or clinical or sacrificing hotness. After all, what we do together is very hot — what would be the point of diminishing that or toning it down?

So if you want to know about anything from Lesbian fisting and female ejaculation to the secrets of oral sex, or if you are looking to spice things up or be inspired to try new positions for your favorite sexual activities, do check out Lesbian Kama Sutra!

The cost is very modest and you’ll be a supporting a worthy cause — your own and your partners’ sexual fulfillment!

Sharing (porn) is Caring

roxxie — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 09:36:23 +0000

I hear from a lot of Cyber-Dyke.net members that they are able to share our websites with their partners who wouldn’t normally be interested in pornography. I also hear from a lot of folks who very actively pursue porn with their partners. I know for a fact that more and more women are watching porn these days, and it makes me so happy to see people’s attitudes about pornography changing. It’s no longer all about stag films, dirty secret magazines and seedy theaters for men. The home camcorder and the internet have made pornography more accessible and more acceptable.

But what if your partner doesn’t know about your porn? Some people are more than happy to just have their own alone time, but what if you want to share? Shanna over at FunLove.com has some great advice on how to talk to your partner about enjoying porn together.

Sexual Health and STIs

roxxie — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 20:41:12 +0000

When I was in college the health services nurse said that if I was only having sex with women that I didn’t have to worry about STIs because the risk was so low. I was a little shocked and disappointed. A nurse was actually advising against safer sex practices! In the 21st century! Granted you’re not likely to get AIDS from another woman, but there are still plenty of extra things that you might share with your partners. I’ve swapped yeast infections with partners, which isn’t particularly dangerous, but it sure was awful. STIs are a reality. This isn’t the 60′s. We all are at risk. You wouldn’t share sex toys without using a condom or disinfecting them, right? How is sharing our bodies any different? We need to start being supportive and comfortable with our gynecology.

Our friends over at FunLove.com have a fantastic blog about talking with your partners about STIs and testing. Taking the Big Test.

Fisting Class TONIGHT!!!!

roxxie — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 20:03:59 +0000

Tonight!! February 26, our friend Essin’ Em is teaching a fisting class and it looks like I’ll be the fisted! I was planning on going to this class anyway, because you can never get enough practice, info and oogling of fisting. This morning I heard that her original volunteer is MIA, so yay me!

If you are anywhere near San Francisco and have a little spare time tonight please come out to the fisting class at the Center for Sex and Culture! All genders and all orientations are welcome!

Vaginal Fisting for One and All! with Shanna Katz, a.k.a. Essin’Em
Friday, 2/26, 7pm
At CSC, 1519 Mission
$20-30 sliding scale

Your Mythical G-Spot

roxxie — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 22:30:25 +0000

The sexblogosphere is all a flutter with a report from Britain claiming that the g-spot doesn’t REALLY exist. I’m not entirely sure why this debate is still happening. Ancient people knew about the g-spot and female orgasm. How advanced can the Western world be if we’re still confused about basic female anatomy? Granted, not all women have discovered their g-spot or how to best stimulate it. Not all women realize that particular feeling is their g-spot. It took me a long while to realize that I can ejaculate, I just sort of dribble rather than squirt. None of that suggests that the g-spot is somehow not an anatomical reality.

So let’s prove these dusty old white guys wrong and play with our g-spots today!

Revolutionize Your Period with Babeland!

roxxie — Sun, 31 May 2009 05:53:42 +0000

I discovered reusable menstrual products years ago through the zines, DIY, and anarchafeminist scenes. I originally stumbled on a site by a group called Blood Sisters out of Canada. It took me a while to actually try it, but wow!! They are infinitely more comfortable than paper and plastic. It’s been an amazing few years. Previously I had been going through a box of tampons and month plus a couple of pads or pantyliners. It isn’t exceptionally expensive, but I’m always looking to save a few bucks. I was also going through a real anarchist phase and I wanted to reduce the number of products I used and stop participating in consumerism. I started by sewing some cloth pads from old flannel sheets. It was really easy and can be done by hand. I used those to replace the pads and pantyliners, but I still used regular tampons for another years. Resuable menstrual cups are a bit expensive and I didn’t have the money to buy one. I tried sea sponges instead. I actually bought them at the art supply store. For about two bucks I got a large sea sponge that I then cut in three pieces. Each piece could be used as a tampon for three or four months. That way I was getting at least nine months of tampons for only two dollars. That’s a real savings, and I never had to worry about running out to the store at all hours of the night because I was out of tampons.

I don’t know where you might be able to find resources on menstrual activism, patterns for sewing your own pads or alternative products these days. The Blood Sisters site seems to be gone. However, if you are the least bit curious, Babeland is giving away a Lunapads starter set!! I commented on the site, but I already have all the menstrual supplies I need. I hope it goes to one of you lovely ladies!!

Mary Roach: 10 Things You Didn’t Know About Orgasm

roxxie — Thu, 21 May 2009 04:50:05 +0000

Mary Roach has written article, columns and books about the science behind common life events, and she is most well known for her books on death and sex. Recently she gave a short talk called 10 Things You Didn’t Know about Orgasm. Watch the entire fascinating video HERE

Is your body and health obscene?

roxxie — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 05:17:12 +0000

Once upon a time I worked in a women’s store, staffed entirely by women except for one random higher level manager who occasionally stopped by to use a spare office. He would sit in his office and make phone calls on the speaker phone to his doctor about some sort of urinary tract issue. He did plenty of other things to harass us, but he thought it was ok to talk about male anatomy and his problems in earshot of all of the store manager and female employees. Clinical language about human anatomy isn’t a bad thing, but generally isn’t appropriate to share with unwilling women in lower positions. It generally isn’t appropriate to share with anyone who is unwilling, especially when you are in a position of power. It isn’t dirty or bad. Medical information is generally a personal private thing. It’s really absurd and childish to use that against someone. Medical information, including sexual health and function, should be freely available to everyone.

Clinical language about parts of our bodies that are used for reproductive and sexual functions is still just clinical language. Apparently Google is filtering “clitoris�? as an unsafe word. Google automatically sets your search preferences as “safe search�? unless you go in and manually change them. Clitoris is the clinical language for that part of female anatomy. It isn’t the sort of slang you usually see on adult sites. I usually use clit on Cyber-Dyke.net. Susie Bright wrote a fantastic blog about the topic HERE. It’s dated November, but I’m a bit behind on my blog reading list. Women’s bodies are officially inherently sexualized, as if that’s news to any women here. Women’s sexuality is much more “dirty�? than men’s. Nude women, including classical art and breastfeeding mothers, are pornographic, but male nude bodies aren’t nearly so offensive. The words that describe female anatomy are also obscene. We can’t even talk to our health care providers without saying dirty words. Are we children? Are we not allowed to talk about reproductive or sexual health? Google does not need to be filtering searches for appropriateness. If parents want to filter their children there is plenty of nanny software. If grown adults don’t want to find porn they shouldn’t search for it! And tell me, how is it ok for a high level manager to talk about his urinary tract problems, but women can’t talk about their bodies?

If anyone knows if Google has updated their “dirty word�? list please comment here!

Lesbian Sexual Health

roxxie — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:33:27 +0000

I recently introduced a female partner to dental dams. She was completely unfamiliar with them, but luckily she had some microwave safe plastic wrap on hand for us to use. She’s an intelligent profession woman, older than me, and says that she doesn’t sleep around, but I was sort of surprised that she never heard of dental dams. I shouldn’t be surprised considering how much difficultly I’ve personally had in getting information about lesbian sexual health.

Most safe sex education is very condom-centric. Condoms are certainly important since at least half the population is male or having heterosexual sex. However, heterosexual sex includes more than just penetration, and a woman’s anatomy is more than just a hole. AIDS and pregnancy are not the only things that happen. I’m no expert in STDs or STIs, but I know they can be transmitted by all different types of sex acts and sexual contact. People are willing to put their mouth on another person’s genitals with no barrier methods, but won’t touch penis to vulva without a condom? Even things like yeast infections and bacterial infections can be transmitted sexually. They won’t kill you, but they certainly aren’t fun.

In 1999 in my college health department the nurse told me that if I’m only having sex with women that the risk of STDs was greatly reduced. End of story. She didn’t mention safe sex methods at all. I am not out to any of my current health care providers. At my last trip to the gynecologist I asked for STD testing and got the stink eye. This was in Berkeley too. It makes me wonder what would happen if I had come out to them. I have a new gynecologist now, by the way.

I learned about safe sex methods primarily from porn, which is unfortunately the main source of sex education for many people. I was lucky to be involved with Cyber-Dyke.net where it’s ok to use gloves and dams on camera. I’ve had a hard time working with other adult film producers because they refuse to have condoms, gloves or dams in the film. I’ve made it my own little personal crusade to show safe sex in the films I create.

I just registered for the National Lesbian Health Summit. I’m interested in what other lesbian health issues I might unfamiliar with and how I can help support access and information to health topics for all people.