Archive for October, 2004

Network Update: Posteriority

October 7, 2004 | CyDy Network

So much cool new stuff is happening in the Cyber-Dyke Network! The lovely Marie is going to be opening her own network site, VelenoFiore. I’ll tell you all about that once it’s open, but meanwhile there’s also been an update at Posteriority. The fantastic butchy action continues with the third installment of Alexi and Lola, with lots of probing (by Alexi) and beautiful worshipful faces from Lola. (And I just love Alexi’s shirt!)

Cheney’s Lesbian Daughter

October 6, 2004 | News Reports

It appears that despite his party’s dislike for gay marriage and his boss’s support for a Constitutional amendment to ban it, vice-presidential candidate Dick Cheney loves his lesbian daughter just the way she is. In fact, he sounded almost liberal during last night’s debate in Cleveland. He said that people should be free to choose “any arrangement they want” because it’s “no one else’s business.” This statement might come back to haunt him as small groups insist that relationships more “on the fringe” (I’m thinking primarily of bestiality here) should be legally recognized, but for now I think it’s a great step. It seems unlikely that Cheney will ever run for the presidency, but it’s nice to know that he loves his daughter and if he did become president would hopefully enact legislation to formally support her.

Lesbian Sexuality 101

Sex

This piece was originally published for the online zine DykeWrite on December 4, 2003. Comments are welcome.

I was all set to write about “lesbian bed death” again (in more detail than last time), but then I got the latest copy of On Our Backs in the mail. There was plenty of inspiration there - a how-to on choosing a sex toy, a scene report about genitorture, an all-dyke roundtable discussion about dating bisexual women, and the usual genderfucking OOB always features. (Interestingly, the androgynous drag king spread was headed “Hot Femme Fags” - but I’ll discuss butch/femme/genderfuck in another article.) I came to realize that the trouble was now I had too much to write about! In keeping with the relaunch of Dykewrite, I’ll bring my sexuality articles back to basics and start with a broader overview of lesbian sexuality and the things two (or more) women can do in bed (or on the kitchen counter, or wherever!).

In keeping with the relaunch of Dykewrite, I’ll bring my sexuality articles back to basics and start with a broader overview of lesbian sexuality and the things two (or more) women can do in bed (or on the kitchen counter, or wherever!).

Back in the 1970s, the politically correct way to have lesbian sex was often cunnilingus. There might be some clit-rubbing involved, but penetration was seen by some as mimicking heterosexual intercourse, and there was a strong drive to get away from that. While plenty of dykes continued to have a great time fingerbanging, strap-ons were an even greater no-no (although of course many women used them anyway). These days, we’ve come to realize that lesbian sexuality can be expressed in a grand variety of ways, some seeming to resemble het sex and some utterly different. But just because lesbians do a lot of the same things between the sheets that straight people do does not mean we are in any way mimicking them - especially not out of a secret desire to be straight! A girl doesn’t want her to fuck her with a dildo because she secretly desires a penis, but rather because she likes it.

There are a few sex acts that are usually limited to lesbians, tribadism being one of them. Although some sources claim tribadism is simulating intercourse, it’s really just a pleasurable intersection of thighs and vulvas. (I’ve heard people claim that only clit-to-clit touching is tribadism, but that’s such an ungainly position that I prefer to define it in a more accessible way.) It also seems that same-sex sixty-nine is more common than the male-female kind, although I don’t have any numbers on this - in any case, though, many people feel that oral sex is better when performed by somebody who has the same parts and knows just what to do to them.

There are a lot of other activities two chicks can share, generally ascending the scale of kink. Everything from backdoor sex to temporary infibulation is available to lesbian couples, along with a whole lot of things in between. There’s no reason for women to become bored with or shy about having sex - the possibilities are endless for variety. Whether a woman is seeking one night stands, enjoying serial monogamy, or in a committed long term relationship, anything goes.

While I’ll be covering more specific topics in the future, I also welcome any questions related to lesbian (and bi) sexuality and would be happy to address them on Dykewrite or in private conversation.

Our Community’s Future

October 4, 2004 | News Reports

Do you remember what it was like growing up as a queer woman? Books like Leslie Feinberg’s Stone Butch Blues tell of life for a young lesbian in the 1950s and 1960s. Following Stonewall and the gay liberation movement, it was easier for adults to come out as gay, but teenagers still had to struggle along in the closet, fearing ostracism by friends and family. Even when I came of age just a few years ago, there were few resources available to me - I didn’t know anybody else at my high school who was queer. Now you can fill a whole shelf with books about gay and lesbian youth, including information on coming out.

One great example of a young proud lesbian is 17-year-old Felicia Holt of New Jersey, who was profiled in a recent Washington Post article called Braving the Streets Her Way. (Registration required; alternatively visit BugMeNot for a free login.) Felicia was friends with Sakia Gunn, a 15-year-old lesbian who was killed last year, and Felicia could very well have met the same fate. Instead, she stood proud as a young butch woman who digs femmes. Like tens of thousands of queer teenagers before her, her family is struggling to understand who she is - and that she’s not going to change. Felicia is also an accomplished singer, as today’s continuation article Using Her Voice to Rise Above attests.

There were no girls like Felicia twenty years ago. There were no girls like her ten years ago. Five years ago, they started to appear. Now their numbers are growing, and they are the future of lesbian America.

Network Update: darkPlay

October 3, 2004 | CyDy Network

The second part of the Zille/Alexi/Aedan shoot is up at darkPlay. Alexi paddles Aedan’s ass nice and red! Zille looks great in those lace stockings, but one of my favorite things about this gallery is that Alexi stays fully clothed the whole time. I don’t know why, but I love seeing a nude (or nearly-nude) bottom and a fully-dressed top. Just unzipping the fly to fuck is totally hot…and Zille certainly seems to enjoy it as much as I do!

Way to Go, Spain!

October 1, 2004 | News Reports

Although Spain is a traditionally Catholic country, there has been growing support there for a new bill that will allow gay and lesbian couples to marry, divorce, and adopt children. In 1975, dictator Francisco Franco made homosexuality illegal, but less than 30 years later Spain is preparing to join the Netherlands and Belgium in allowing gay marriage. The Vatican has expressed outrage at the legislation, which is now headed for Parliament, but the population is becoming more liberal and is accepting of the proposed law.