Dial M for Masturbation- Oakland, CA

May 6, 2008 | Events

Thursday, May 15, 2008
9:15pm
Babeland celebrates Masturbation Month with DIAL M FOR MASTURBATION
a festival of short films about self-pleasure, hosting by local drag legends The East Bay Kings

$9 at Parkway Speakeasy Theater
1834 Park Blvd., Oakland CA www.speakeasytheaters.com

Quicktime and iPod Videos!

April 17, 2008 | CyDy Network

Apple lovers! We need your help testing out our new Quicktime and iPod compatible video formats. Get a sneak peek at new Ginger and Jo videos and let us know what you think about the video quality. See them HERE

Bang4theBuck- San Francisco April 25th

April 15, 2008 | Events

Midori and Kelly B are hosting their annual AIDSLifecycle fundraiser party for women and transfolk Bang4theBuck on Friday April 25th at The Citadel. The first part of the evening is a Strip-o-rama and later in the evening the party becomes a kinky sex and play party.

I would love to be there, but like all good red blooded Americans, I paid taxes this week. I paid a whole lot more than I expected to pay this year, which totally blew my budget for the month. No extra money for fun events this week, but at least I have fun working!

Opening Up from Tristan Taormino

April 13, 2008 | Cool Links

Author and Village Voice columnist Tristan Taormino has launched a brand new website in anticipation of the release of her new book May 1. OpeningUp.net is a website for people interested in open relationships of all kinds, including monogamy with benefits, nonmonogamy, partnered nonmonogamy, swinging, polyamory, polyfidelity, solo polyamory, mixed orientation marriages, and other relationships styles beyond monogamy. It features a blog, an extensive resource guide, message boards, and the Open List, a list of professionals (therapists, social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, consultants, relationship and life coaches, doctors, lawyers, etc.) who are experienced and knowledgeable about alternative sexuality, lifestyles, and relationships. Check it out!

Blogs and Events

April 6, 2008 | Cool Links, Events

I’m following a new blog, Sex Work 101, edied by Audacia Ray. I’m really excited to see sex workers published educational material about the adult industry.

There are some really great events coming up!

If I had known about it sooner I would be out at Sex 2.0, the intersection of social media, feminism and sexuality. Too bad plane tickets would cost an arm and a leg a week before the event!

I will be at International Ms. Leather this year, volunteering and doing lapdances at the Thursday night Seduction event. I think that N’tali will be there as well, but I haven’t heard definite confirmation of that rumor.

And I am also planning on attending Arse Electronica again this year. Their 2008 theme is, “Do Androids Sleep with Electric Sheep?”

Sex and vegans

March 29, 2008 | Health, Pop Culture, Sex

In spite of the apparent popularity of Steak and Blowjob Day, vegan women are becoming increasingly more popular in the adult industry. Being vegan myself, I find this very exciting. I’m not entirely sure why vegans are so much sexier. Perhaps it is our healthy lifestyles, and compassionate natures. Maybe it’s just because alternative looking women are the trend of the moment, and a lot of those women are also vegans. Another porn star once mentioned to me that vegans smell better and have better tasting body fluids, and I agree. Perhaps we’re just better cooks. Fleshbot took notice of this trend but I don’t think they’ve seen long time cy-dy friend, Furry Girl’s website VegPorn.com

I think vegan visibility in the adult industry is a good thing even though I see sex workers and sex positive people getting all sorts of horrible comments in online vegan communities. I’ve never had anyone say a bad word about vegan porn to my face, but then I also generally don’t associate with people who would wish to say bad things about me to my face. I think that combining veganism and sexuality creates healthier attitudes towards our bodies and the highlights the importance of sexual health and diet in total health.

How to Date a Porn Star

March 15, 2008 | Uncategorized

Dating while working in the adult industry is weird. I’ve sworn off dating for the time being because I’m just so clueless. All the dates I’ve had in the past two years failed miserably because I just totally missed the cues to move the relationship forward. I failed so consistently I even questioned my queerness. I decided to write a personals ad, in my mind, in order to examine what was really going on for me. I don’t intend to post this ad on any personals site, but I’d like to hear any feedback.

Dating hater looking for someone who feels the same! W4W

I just plain hate dating. I work in the adult industry, so I seem to have very different ideas about personal interactions and relationships. I seem to be totally clueless about noticing cues to move the relationship past chatting and dinner. Porn, sex and things that are normally taboo and intimate is normal conversation for me. Bringing up the topic of sex toys or safe sex practices do not immediately strike me as, “want to have sex” talk.

I don’t want to talk about my job because it’s mostly pretty boring. It isn’t very glamorous either and I don’t make a ton of money. Just don’t be shocked when I have no qualms about talking about sex and kink and porn in a public space openly and freely. Also you can’t be shocked or upset that I’m intimately involved with other people and I take their money. I watch a ton of porn. If you’re curious or regularly pursue sex workers without being familiar with the sex worker community this probably won’t work. I’m not going to teach you how to be a sex worker or about the adult industry. Hipsters need not apply.

I need a woman that can communicate openly and clearly. She must be able to act assertive when I don’t pick up on the normal cues, and clearly state what she wants or does not want. I really just don’t pick up on normal cues, so don’t mistake my cluelessness for disinterest. Interest in sex-positive events, like erotic open mic nights or erotic film festivals is necessary. Being kinky is a bonus.

I’m tend towards soft-butch, but I also love to play with vintage and retro glamour styles. I have an extensive collection of stockings, girdles and vintage clothes. My makeup collection rivals any drag queen’s. I ride a motorcycle. I enjoy nightclubs, dancing, film, classic sci-fi, art, crafting, all types of music and cooking.

I’m really looking for someone with counterculture ideas who has been in very different non-traditional relationships. I’m not a normal person and I hope you’re not either.

My Body Waxing Fetish

February 29, 2008 | Sex

I love the smooth feel of a hairless bit of skin, but I’m generally too lazy to shave. I did that Nair stuff for a while, but it really just burned my skin. Waxing, however, is sheer decadent delight and surprisingly erotic treat. I don’t usually like to splurge and spend so much money on waxing, but just the other day I had some extra money and had my eyebrows waxed. I had forgotten that it was so wonderful. I’m not a pain slut, I don’t like kinky play where I receive pain, but I do like getting waxed.

First, there is the satisfying feeling of having hair removed so efficiently. The wax is laid down, the cloth is pressed on, and then zip! I don’t have to think about hair for a few weeks. I had my eyebrows waxed many times and always had that efficient satisfying feeling of getting things done. When I finally had my legs waxed for the first time I discovered the erotic enchantment. I almost slid off the table. The woman asked if I was ok. I was more than ok. Having the hair pulled from such a large area all at once overwhelmed my senses. It is painful, but a special sort of pain.
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A woman’s first vibrator

February 23, 2008 | Uncategorized

I’m editing a video of a lovely young woman, and I think this might have been her first time using a vibrator. The first toy I filmed her using was a just plain dildo, and she totally faked it. That’s ok. I would really prefer that women not fake it, but if you’re not going to get off I guess you have to figure out something. Then I handed her a vibrator, and she really did get off. I can’t tell if she was surprised or had never experienced an orgasm like that or just never had an orgasm with a vibrator.

Honestly I don’t think I used a vibrator until I started doing porn. I was a frequent masturbator and had worked as a stripper when I was this model’s age. I was poor and just masturbated by hand. I was curious about vibrators, but I thought they were too expensive. I wish someone had handed me a vibrator when I was this woman’s age rather than having to wait a few years for a lover to introduce me to sex toys. It was a bullet vibe. It makes me feel good to know that I am empowering women and giving them the opportunity to explore their sexual pleasure through pornography. Sex toys and vibrators may seem strange or extravagant if you’re young and poor, but they really make a difference.

The Cyber-Dyke staff has been reviewing sex toys over at the GirlTools.net blog.

Babeland also has an excellent blog and plenty of toys to tickle your fancy. It may seem like an investment right now, but your sexual pleasure is priceless!

Audacia Ray Feb. 16 at The Center for Sex and Culture

February 6, 2008 | Events

Audacia Ray’s directorial debut, The Bi Apple, has received a nomination for the GayVN Award for “Best Bisexual Video.” She will be in San Francisco at the Center for Sex and Culture celebrating on the afternoon before the big award show: February 16th from 1 to 4 pm.

The Center for Sex and Culture is at 1519 Mission St, Suite 1. The event is free but donations for the CSC are welcome. See more about the Center for Sex and Culture at their website www.sexandculture.org

There’s more info about The Bi Apple, with a trailer, photos, and links to press at Waking Vixen blog.