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CyDy Blog: the sexy brains of Cyber Dyke

Tuesday, May 21st, 2013

Mary Roach has written article, columns and books about the science behind common life events, and she is most well known for her books on death and sex. Recently she gave a short talk called 10 Things You Didn’t Know about Orgasm. Watch the entire fascinating video HERE

Friday, May 17th, 2013


Minx is one of our long time Cyber-Dyke girlfriends with a personal website, She is one of the few authentic goth altporn models out there with her own solo website. I know there are a ton of altporn and gothic fetish sites out there, but Minx is real. She may not be covered in tattoos and piercings but she’s not a plastic LA porn star doing it for the money. She’s a real grrl next door. She’s a woman that you would have in your criminal psych class or run into at a small metal or punk show. In addition to her website, she’s been featured in several different magazines such as Secret and Bizarre.

Minx is a juicy sweet femme who likes it on the bottom even though she’s a real tough gal. She was one of Zille’s lovers and then seduced Chrissy and Penny and the whole Cyber-Dyke staff really. Her website is now available to all cyber-dyke subscribers, so head on over to to see all of her hot photos, video and writings.

Saturday, April 20th, 2013

I have to tell you, I feel really weird right now. I just wrote about a brand of lube on my new site, Pink Blog, and I had to put it in all these flowery words. “Toys” instead of dildos, “personal lubricant” instead of lube…it’s a perfectly natural product but it’s just weird to write about it on a NON-adult blog. I mean, you can buy lube in the grocery store, it’s on shelves at kid-eye-level, but what if kids come to see Pink Blog? It’s such a relief to have a place to come where I can say…

PINK lube is for making your pussy wet! And it comes in a bottle indistinguishable from most perfume bottles!

I feel better now. :)

Saturday, April 13th, 2013

I came upon an excellent sex toy blog called Slashdong and I wanted to share it with you. Specifically, I want to direct you to Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Modern Audio Toys, which is the most in-depth review – and analysis – I have ever seen of audio-based toys, or possibly even any sex toy! (I was going to say it’s not safe for work, but then I remembered – neither is this blog. So if you’re reading this, you either don’t care about NSFW, or you aren’t even at work. To read more about NSFW, check out Susie Bright’s posting: Not Safe For Prudes.)

Saturday, March 30th, 2013

I love the smooth feel of a hairless bit of skin, but I’m generally too lazy to shave. I did that Nair stuff for a while, but it really just burned my skin. Waxing, however, is sheer decadent delight and surprisingly erotic treat. I don’t usually like to splurge and spend so much money on waxing, but just the other day I had some extra money and had my eyebrows waxed. I had forgotten that it was so wonderful. I’m not a pain slut, I don’t like kinky play where I receive pain, but I do like getting waxed.

First, there is the satisfying feeling of having hair removed so efficiently. The wax is laid down, the cloth is pressed on, and then zip! I don’t have to think about hair for a few weeks. I had my eyebrows waxed many times and always had that efficient satisfying feeling of getting things done. When I finally had my legs waxed for the first time I discovered the erotic enchantment. I almost slid off the table. The woman asked if I was ok. I was more than ok. Having the hair pulled from such a large area all at once overwhelmed my senses. It is painful, but a special sort of pain.
Read the rest of this entry »

Sunday, March 24th, 2013

I recently had some serious problems with a woman I was dating accusing me of being “not gay enough.? She told me that she thought I could never commit to a woman and that I was just in it for the sex. And OMG I have straight male friends that I might somehow accidentally fuck one day. Heaven forbid I allow a real live penis within fifty feet. This is not the first time I’ve encountered these “not gay enough? games and I’m frustrated by the whole thing. I really hate having to prove myself to be gay enough just because I’m willing to admit that I’ve had relationship with men and I make lesbian porn. How on earth would I prove that I’m gay enough? Do I have to get married or what? The California courts are still deciding on the same-sex marriage issue, so I don’t know if I could get married at this point in time.

I understand that there are quite a few women at the clubs who are looking for a threesome or a lesbian experience to show off to their boyfriends. I think these women are pretty obvious, so if you’re not interested it’s easy enough to avoid. I have no problems avoiding these types of situations! I also know that there are plenty of lesbians who have had relationships with men, myself included. I’m very aware of the dyke drama of who slept with a man this week. We all know that these things happen and we’re all still gay queer lesbians.

There are some huge misconceptions about bisexual women not being very queer, not being able to commit to women, only being interested in sex and that sort of thing. Tell me you don’t know any lesbians who are promiscuous and have commitment issues! Bisexual women are no different from us. They just happen to also be interested in men. We all know that labels for sexual orientation and gender identity can be just as troublesome as they are useful. I think it’s really pretty absurd to start excluding people and distancing them from the community when they want to be involved. I also know a number of gender queer and trans-folk that identify as bisexual because their own gender identity is fluid. All of these people are our allies, and we need all the allies we can get. Bisexual women are not trying to crash our party. They’re not trying to take advantage of us. Why does it matter so much if your ex left you for a man? She would still be your ex if she had left you for another woman.

Accusing and excluding only tears our community apart. Accusing women of not being gay enough is really unnecessary. Not only does it distance sincere lesbians, but it also turns away our bisexual allies. If you are not personally interested in romantic relationships with particular women, that’s your business. Don’t go ruining the scene just because you think someone is “not gay enough.?

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Ah, darkPlay! In 2000 opened it’s online doors and introduced the world to all the dark kinky fantasies that women have. Even today, nine years later, there are still people propagating the myth that women are only interested in romance, sensual, soft core, vanilla types of porn. is documentary evidence that women have dark fantasies and enjoy watching decadently sleazy porn.

This photo is from a recent update at and shows the sort of wonderfully sleazy porn that I think many women can get behind. Look at that hideous hotel bedspread! The models are really lovers off screen, they’re really enjoying each other, they’re really fucking and licking and kissing, they choose to embrace manicures and boob jobs for their own personal enjoyment, and they don’t care what anyone else thinks. This is truly feminist empowered pornography.

Thursday, March 14th, 2013

Heather and Kym demonstrate a strap on blowjob at GirlTools.netI like it when a person sucks my strap on. There’s something invigorating about it, watching her eyes widen as she takes it into her mouth, kneeling there at my feet. I love watching the skin in her cheeks stretch as she manipulates my cock with her tongue. And I like the feel of being strapped in, the harness hugging my ass and thighs. I like to run my fingers through a lover’s hair as I gently but insistently fuck their mouth.

It’s interesting- I identify as female-to-femme, a drag queen in a girl body. I don’t necessarily feel like I am lacking a cock, and yet, when I strap one on, it is as much a part of myself as my arm. My cock is silicone, and it doesn’t even  settle on my clit or have a vibrator in it- but I psychologically feel the blow job coursing through me, and it feels right, somehow. And I enjoy that it’s queer and subversive, for my intellectual pleasure rather than some physical one- it just ticks a lot of sexy boxes for me. Never mind that having a willing lover using their tongue devotedly on my cock is street legal… or close enough.

Penny and Chrissy strap it on at

It’s not just blow jobs I love about strap on play, though. I also really enjoy penetrative play. There’s something about having one hand on a girl’s ass or cunt, the other in her hair pulling her head back as I thrust into her, smug in knowing that my hard on will last as long as it needs to. Or seeing that moment of anticipation as I roll a condom onto my cock, one of her legs draped over my shoulder as I nudge the head of my strap on past her labia lips… mmm. It just satisfies something primal in me.

It took me a long time to settle on my cock and my strap on harness. There’s quite a few out there now to choose from! Different people have different preferences for a harness- some want something pretty, others want something functional, still others want something that passes. I think your choice will depend a lot on where and when you want to wear it, and around who. If you want a harness that’ll be equally as comfy for sex as for packing, the Spareparts Joque harness or the spandex harness may be ideal for you. If you want to try strap on play and aren’t really sure, I quite liked the velvet corsette harness- I find the corset at the back to give some extra stability, and you can put it in the washing machine. If you’re more into the look and sturdiness of leather, there’s lots to choose from, from slightly Wild West inspired ones to low-riding ones- personally, my first harness that I bonded with was the simple and effective Terra Firma.

Chrissy & Daphne demo a Thigh Harness at GirlTools.netAnd don’t forget to get creative with this- it’s a flexible toy! People with disabilities that prevent genital-to-genital contact may find a thigh harness is a great workaround to allow them to thrust into their partner, allowing that physical closeness. You can even use a harness to strap a dildo onto a chair for solo play. You might even want different ones for different occasions! Keep in mind that many harnesses are adjustable, so pick a harness that can fit to your body in a way you’ll feel sexy about.

So, once you’ve picked your harness, what sort of cock are you going to get? There’s a lot to choose from, shapes realistic and not, all sorts of materials. And of course, there’s size. Size matters, as does shape- I really like thick and blunt, like the Outlaw, as opposed to the somewhat more narrow Siren. Personally, as silicone toys can be a bit pricey, I suggest buying the kind of toy you’re interested in made of a cheaper material- this way you can see how you feel about the length, the girth, and the style before you plunk down for a fancier toy.  Just remember that a lot of materials are porous and therefore aren’t able to be fully sterilized the way silicone is, so either use condoms on your toys or keep the toy with the lover.

Also keep in mind fleshiness! I bought a gorgeous cock once only to find that when I wore it I lost 2″ because of my stomach and my partner’s thighs losing us an inch each side… so I had to get a new one. I started with something very similar to the Majesty dildo for use on me via a strap on, and got a simple, medium sized Silk one for my anal play adventures. Once you’ve tried that out, the fun really begins- maybe you want a non-realistic dildo with a lot of texture like the Rippler, or one perfect for anal play like Your Highness. If you want more realism, try Buck, or maybe Bandit- both are made with Vixskin, a material that’s silicone but has a more realistic texture to it. The Slinger is really nice for G-spot play.If you want more info and suggestions on picking a dildo definitely read about it here.

Finally, those are suggestions on the basics- harnesses and dildos. However there’s some other fun to be had in this department. Double ended dildoes Nexus, and shaped in a way for comfortable non-harness sex. The rocking motion when you have the Nexus in makes for the pleasure of both people, though you may find it a little easier if you hold one of these double dildoes in (I found the shapes were hard for my kegals to cling to!) I haven’t gotten to try the Share double dildo but imagine that the design may be a bit easier to manage. I recommend the one wearing the double dildo be lying down and the other partner climbing on top for the most enjoyment, though it’s also great for blow jobs.

Lena & Madison demonstrate some hot anal strap on play at posteriority.netIf the double isn’t your speed but you’d like to get some buzz out of strap on play too, consider getting a harness or dildo that has a vibe built in. Or, do what I do- I get out my Rock Chick, and slip that in, using the harness to hold it in place. Thus every time I thrust I get another rock of the toy inside me, pressing against my g-spot, and the vibration against my clitoris. It’s quite lovely.

So once you have the toys, then what? How do you bring this up with a partner? I recommend checking out the Whole Lesbian Sex Book as a place to start. Or watch some hot porn- my favorite way to encourage sexual exploration! There’s quite a bit of queer strap on play here on Cyberdyke. Watching other people having a hot time with this kind of play may lube the path of communication!

I’ll be doing a follow up discussing the various erotic possibilities when you introduce a strap on into your play, but I’m hoping this gives readers a good place to begin. Did I miss something you wanted to know? Ask in the comments and I’ll try to address it in my next article!


Thursday, February 28th, 2013

Frequent visitors to CyberDyke will have noticed that for quite a while now we have been featuring a link to Lesbian Kama Sutra, a site run by a team of four delightful women in Europe. 

LKS, as it is affectionately known, has been around for years doing its level best to promote a healthy and positive image of lesbian sexuality. There is great information on our sex practices and you have a lot of fun along the way! The owners graciously let us have a peek inside their site and we can assure you that this is fun and informative resource not to be missed. 

What LKS does is provide us with straight-forward writing and depictions, in photos, fine art illustrations and videos, of our sex as it should be experienced. It does so in a way that is elegant without being stuffy or clinical or sacrificing hotness. After all, what we do together is very hot — what would be the point of diminishing that or toning it down? 

So if you want to know about anything from Lesbian fisting and female ejaculation to the secrets of oral sex, or if you are looking to spice things up or be inspired to try new positions for your favorite sexual activities, do check out Lesbian Kama Sutra

The cost is very modest and you’ll be a supporting a worthy cause — your own and your partners’ sexual fulfillment!

Wednesday, February 27th, 2013

Could this headline be any more silly?


The subhead is less interesting, “Dolphin-Shaped Dildos From Deutschland” – but it’s still a nice article about Fun Factory, a German company that produces silicone sex toys. My wife bought me their Smart Balls a while back, and they are lots of fun. They also make the Sinnflut, which is a $150 vibrating dildo that apparently has lots of fans – there are three positive reviews on the Babeland website!

And now, my friends…*rubs hands excitedly*…get ready for the redesign! It’s currently in the works by the outstanding Swank Web Design, and I have some behind-the-scenes tuneups waiting to roll out along with the design. I’m not sure yet when it will be released, but keep your eyes open!